The Sneakers My Sister Wished She Could Weave in the 80s…

This is what Freshness said:

Nike Sportswear have taken two popular models Superfly and Air Woven to produce a hybrid Air Superfly Woven just in time for the Spring climate. Brightly colored and featuring the best elements from both sneakers the light weight sneaker is characterized by the multi colored woven upper that would make you want to go out for a run right away.

This is what I say:

If my older sister could have seen the future from the 80s, she would have put aside those Jelly Shoes and committed herself to something more ambitious than a potholder. If you are over the age of 30, you probably remember these loop & loom kits with the colorful bands manufactured by brands with names like “Waddle We Do.” Perhaps you attempted to make one of the classic potholders and when it came time to remove it from the rig, it all went to pieces like some conflated Cat’s Cradle. Or maybe you were the little brother in the picture, finding and firing the fabric all around the house. Either way, though toy collecting and sneaker culture have a few parallels, I still find myself throwing up my arms confused by what’s considered cool. But then again, sneakerheads might not understand why some of us would drop upwards of a Benjamin on an astronaut DJ wearing tighty whities. It’s all good!